HEISGIRL: Fodder From a Female Football Fan

Living every week like it's Shark Week.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Is it just me, or is it drafty in here?

Earlier I was thinking about how exciting last year's draft was...arguing with the boys at work about whether Vincey would be #1 or not. Not as much to be excited about this year though I was pleased to see a few predictions:

-Statesman has Michael Griffin going to San Diego (where he'd play with Quentin Jammer) and Aaron Ross going to New England (where he'd play with my Boooooiii DT)

-USA Today had Griffin, Ross and Robison all going in the first round. Me like that.

The draft is kind of a two-headed monster in that it appeals to both college football loyalists and nfl loyalists. It also appeals to those of us who like to watch pretty boys pout, just like Matt Leinfart. Needless to say I won't be tuning in tomorrow with a pitcher of bloodies at my side like I did last year, but I will laugh if Brady Quinn drops out of the top 10 (though part of me thinks he'll be a surprise at #1).

Anyways...this was my way to kill the last 10 minutes of the day, so I'm outties.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

This just made my day

DONT F*** WITH SLATER

Monday, April 23, 2007

If I were looking for a new job

I'd start and end my search here: The Tortilla Industry Association. According to these guys, who are fighting the good fight, tortillas are more popular today in the U.S. than all other ethnic breads, such as bagels, English muffins and pita bread.

VIVA MEXICO!!!

Spent the weekend in CVille with CMart, CTat, and my friendly neighborhood attorney. I went with the goal of ralphing in CMart's house, since he has done me that luxury the last TWO times he's stayed here. Even if I had wanted to throw up, I would have had to fight for the bathroom, as both CTat and FNA re-tasted their stomach contents. In fact, I was the only person not to ralph. How's that for karma?

It was a freaking awesome weekend. The weather was beautiful and we had a b.l.a.s.t. Started drinking about 6 on Friday, and didn't stop until a bloody at brunch on Sunday. We hit wineries, danced on 80s nite, drank long islands, smoked cigars, played drinking games on the porch, and yes, did shots of jagermeister. It was just the kind of weekend away I needed.

You know who should feel really lucky I was out of town? Reggie Bush. Apparently he was in town for the White House Correspondents Dinner, rubbing elbows with Sanjaya. How does that feel, REGGIE? How's the cancer research coming, REGGIE!?


Sally and friends (with Steezy behind the camera) outside the 2005 Heisman ceremony

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Is this week over

Dude, I feel bad complaining about anything with all that is going on in the country, but please, give me a moment: Scootz is fucked up again. This b.s. East Coast weather brought gale forced winds through town, and Scootz got knocked over twice. I went to take it out today and the brake is broken and it's making a weird sound. 3.5 weeks I've had the damn thing. COME ON! I'm getting really annoyed. I still love it but COME ON!

In other news, turns out Vince Young is not MY baby daddy, as I've previously suggested. He had a kid with some ho named Fancy. Reminds me of "Mean Girls" when the principal says, "I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee." Who the hell names their kid FANCY!? And Vince's daughter's name is Niveah, which is one letter off from it being heaven backwards. Have a little bit of class for realz.

What upsets me more about the VY baby mess (which really shouldnt be that big a deal since Matt Lineheart knocked up a USC bball player) is that he cheated on Candice. My girl KC was Candice's RA in Jester, and had a profound impact on her life (or something). THey've been dating for like 50 years. How could he. I started to go leave ol girl a message of support on her facebook wall but I couldnt find it...booooo....

You'll note that I haven't mentioned the whole Madden curse b.s. Well, if anyone can break a curse, it's Mr. VY. He said on Kimmel last nite that he has the Texas/USC game on his iPod...I DO TOO! MARRY ME!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

This is why I'm hot


Please note the inappropriate scooter footwear. Unless they're extremely appropriate that is...

Don't Judge Me

Two times this afternoon I walked out the door to the gym...once on Scootz and once on foot (because it was drizzling). And both times I turned around and came back. So instead I'm sitting here on my fat ass that only went to the gym twice this week, wishing I'd ordered two gyros instead of one. Tomorrow, Lucifer will apparently be controling the weather so doubtful I'll be able to go then. If you want to piss me off you can bring that up.

Anyways, after three nites + a day of boozing this week, I've stayed dry (for the most part) this weekend. Last week Yatesie had an Easter brunch (and nothing was overcooked!) and I got pretty toasty. It made me think of Thanksgiving when I went to K-dogs house and got really toasty (i.e. I gave a toast I don't remember). It's funny how different the holidays are when you're away from the parentals. FUnny in a good way.

So as part of my stay-at-home evenings, last nite I watched "The Prestige." Great movie, but I figured out the twist about half-way through. I'm too smart for Hollywood. This evening I was considering another On Demand evening but "The Princess Diaries" is on Disney, and who can pass up a chance to see Anne Hathaway at her rawest. I can't believe this girl was in Devil Wears Prada. No fair...I want a makeover.

Lastly, if you have five minutes, go look at Matt Nordgren's pictures on Facebook. They're outstanding.

Don't Judge Me

Two times this afternoon I walked out the door to the gym...once on Scootz and once on foot (because it was drizzling). And both times I turned around and came back. So instead I'm sitting here on my fat ass that only went to the gym twice this week, wishing I'd ordered two gyros instead of one. Tomorrow, Lucifer will apparently be controling the weather so doubtful I'll be able to go then. If you want to piss me off you can bring that up.

Anyways, after three nites + a day of boozing this week, I've stayed dry (for the most part) this weekend. Last week Yatesie had an Easter brunch (and nothing was overcooked!) and I got pretty toasty. It made me think of Thanksgiving when I went to K-dogs house and got really toasty (i.e. I gave a toast I don't remember). It's funny how different the holidays are when you're away from the parentals. FUnny in a good way.

So as part of my stay-at-home evenings, last nite I watched "The Prestige." Great movie, but I figured out the twist about half-way through. I'm too smart for Hollywood. This evening I was considering another On Demand evening but "The Princess Diaries" is on Disney, and who can pass up a chance to see Anne Hathaway at her rawest. I can't believe this girl was in Devil Wears Prada. No fair...I want a makeover.

Lastly, if you have five minutes, go look at Matt Nordgren's pictures on Facebook. They're outstanding.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Get Well Soon


Scootz isn't feeling well and is at the doctor. Thankfully it's too cold and rainy to be driving her anyway. KC loaded me up with longhorn decals, so she's ready to rock. I've considered orange stickers for the helmet as well, but I think that maaaay be overkill. Contrary to popular belief, I do have limits.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

I'm proud as a peacork baby

Entertainment Weekly (my bible) has decided they can no longer beg people to watch 30 Rock. But I can. Seriously people. Funniest show on television. Funnier than "The Office." Way funnier than "Two and a Half Men" or pretty much any other comedy on any network that's not NBC. Need proof?





If you don't find those funny it's probably because YOU'RE NOT FUNNY. Or smart. And I can't help you with that, so just go back to watching American Idol ya dumbass.

Ya burnt!

Saturday, April 07, 2007

No sympathy

In general when I see overweight women at the gym I applaud them. It can't be easy to change clothes in the locker room with a bunch of skinny bitches. And instead of going to a restaurant and ordering a salad with ranch dressing, here you are in the gym.

And then yesterday I saw an overweight woman in the locker room drinking a regular Coke while changing into her work out clothes. I dont even have time to list how many things are wrong with that.

Also, I know last nite I was all up on Daniel Craig. I still think he's hott, but this is definitely hotter:



Kevin Durant, first freshman recipient of the Wooden Award, second Longhorn recipient in the last five years. That's what I like to call dead seeeexy.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Okay so I see what the fuss is about


I just finished Casino Royale. Sweet Sassy Molassy...Daniel Craig you are delicious. Shirt on? Shirt off? Bloody? Cleaned up? Tortured? In swim suit? In a tux? Play poker? Having your man parts whacked?

I'll take you however I can have you.

A hodge podge you might say

From an earlier IM conversation:

LY: jesus christ is right!
LY: it's his second birthday!
Steez: he's just like me! Another thing i have in common with Jesus!
LY: yes, but of course he only had one every 33 or so years.
LY: not twice a year.
Steez: whatever

This evening when I got home I hopped on scoots and ran to rent movies and get some eats. I was sitting at a light, and these three guys were walking to their car. One of them walked up to me and said, "Can I ask you a question?" Thinking he was going to ask me about scoots, I obliged. "Will you marry me?" I almost said yes because I was so impressed with his ability to get drunk by 6:15.

I had never really considered Scoots to be a pick-up device, but it totally will be. I was emailing with Timmy yesterday and he suggested the following

"fake crashing in front of hot dudes with big muscles. Then you get what you want with pity, and when they ask if you are alright you say 'let's kiss.'"

He really is Albert Einstein.

I would be remiss if I didnt bitch about the weather. F-ing highs in the 40s today, SNOW PREDICTED FOR TONITE. Ridiculous. Sometimes I really hate this city. I had an outstanding week at work, and I'm really liking the new job. Those of you who have ever shared a bed with me (and there are many of you) or really ever shared oxygen with me know that I have the jitter bug disease: I'm always wiggling my foot, rocking myself, tapping my toe, something. I'm in capable of sitting still. This afternoon I was sitting at my desk writing some stuff up and I was pounding my heel into the ground (up and down) so hard i banged my knee on my desk. That obviously meant I was anxious, which meant I had a lot of work to do, and that feels so damn good. In a year (or in a few months) when I'm griping about how miserable I am because I'm working so hard, remind me how friggin awful it is to do nothing.

And finally, since this is "in theory" a sports blog, I'd ALSO be remiss if I didn't mention the departure of Billy Gillespie from A&M. Someone on BON said that it's more fun to play the Gaggies when they're good and we get to see really great games (like the one that ended the season) then it is when they go 0-16 in the Big 12. A good point, but I prefer winning. Always. Every time. Winning is freaking great. In fact, it's the best.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Texas State is bullshit

Tomorrow, the President and CEO of our company is giving some sort of speech or something at Southwest Texas University. That's right: I said SWT. I was against the renaming when it first happened, and I'm even more against it now. In our staff meeting as they were discussing this, the following exchange happened:

"John is talking in Texas tomorrow at Texas State University"
"Is it Texas State or is it the University of Texas"
"I think it's both."

This is where I almost started bitch-slapping. I said, "IT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT THE SAME!!" and provided them with an abridged version of the history of the renaming. But it gets worse. Later:

"Steez, the campus that John is speaking at is the San Marcos campus. Is that the main one? Cuz aren't there several?"
"NO THAT IS THE ONLY CAMPUS OF THAT SHITTY SCHOOL."

I didn't say shitty school, but I thought it. It's disgraceful that my longhorns should ever be confused for freaking Bobcats. I bet 45% of SWT students dont even know that their mascot IS a Bobcat. They're so stupid. And ugly. I said it. You got a problem?

I found one drawback to the scooter. Driving home from the gym tonite, I felt like the wind was going to blow the thing right out from under me. I survived long enough to write this. I hope you enjoyed it EMILY VERRETT WHO KEEPS BOTHERING ME TO WRITE THINGS. That's right I real-named you! What do you have to say about that, HUH!?

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

You're ugly



That, according to Deadspin is a 12-person beer bong. I applaud the ingenuity displayed here...they say that mass consumption can really bring together a community. This weekend I did my first keg stand, and I suuuuuucked at it...lasted maybe 10 seconds How I made it to age 26, through four years of college at the greatest university in the world without doing a single keg stand beats the hell out of me. Eeets a meeestery.

So Florida wins back to back basketball titles. Total crap. I'm over it. I hope Jerkoff Noah is one of the biggest washouts in the history of the NBA. That's right, I said it. I didn't watch one single second of the game, and only remembered at about midnite that it was even on. Wouldnt surprise me if two of the lowest rated finals in the history of the history both involved Florida because the only people who like Florida are the idiots who went there. Sour grapes? NO. My grapes taste just fine.