HEISGIRL: Fodder From a Female Football Fan

Living every week like it's Shark Week.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007


Last nite I was did dinner and a movie with my favorite DC movie critic. He did the ol bait and switch, saying we were going to see "Blades of Glory" and then something came up and we had to see "The Lookout" instead. If you don't know what "The Lookout" is, it's cool, you shouldn't see it anyway.

So, while I was waiting for my dinner to be paid for and brought to me, a lady and her baby sat down at the table next to me. She put the baby down, and then put down on the table about 30 packets of condiments. The baby of course immediately started picking them up and putting them in her mouth. And for some God knows reason I found myself thinking "wouldnt it be great if you could live 100% off ketchup?" We'd all be pretty skinny. It would be kinda cool. You would never have to think about what you wanted to have for lunch. It'd be tight.

But alas we cannot live off ketchup alone. I'd actually really prefer to live only off mayonaise, but then we'd be a world of fat people. Deliciously satisfied fat people though.

Later on my way home I glanced over and noticed that there were two lesbians deboarding the metro beside me. I knew they were lesbians by their hockey jerseys and haircuts. I wonder...do lesbians go to the hair salon and say "give me a lesbian cut." They must.

My scooter is still tastee. Thanks to my new friends at www.modernbuddy.com I'm learning new and interesting things all day. It's like I've joined a new family!! People keep asking me what I look like on it, and I'd say I look like this except a female.


At 10:17 AM , Blogger Heather said...

Girls in my high school used to eat baby food for lunch in order to lose weight. It worked. And it was... horrifying.

At 6:55 PM , Blogger Steezy said...

It wasn't high school, but in elementary I used to trade my kudos bar for other people's entire lunch. Maybe that's why my ass has it's own area code.


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