HEISGIRL: Fodder From a Female Football Fan

Living every week like it's Shark Week.

Monday, February 12, 2007

What? Did the moon take a nite off so your butt could eclipse the sun?

Ho-hum...another freshman of the year honor for Colt McCoy. What I find amusing about this one is that it comes from the touchdown club of COLUMBUS. Man, you gotta think they hated to give that one to a guy from Texas. I'm surprised they give awards for things other than "mattress toss" or "poops in a bottle" or "furniture pyrotechnics."

Just last nite I started to think about next football season, and though there are a lot of curvy punctuations (question marks), I think our offense is going to be off the chain. For starters, no more Selvin. I have to say I think Selvin has to go on my list of most disappointing Texas careers. I remember watching him in a scrimmage and being like "whooooaaaa nelly." But last year I got annoyed every time he was on the field.

(A quick Selvin anecdote: he had a major crush on Sass, and they talked on the phone on occasion. His voice mail message went something like "This is Selvin Young...Selvin. Young. Playa. I can't get the phone but leave me a message and I'll holla at ya." And then like 5 minutes of jams. I say "Selvin. Young." in my head every time I hear his name).

Anyways, back to next year's offense. One has to assume that Colt will save another life during the offseason, so he's set. Jamaal will win the NC in the 100 and re-learn about running forward and not side to side. Limas will get more adorable. It's going to be so tiiiiiight!

Changing tracks a bit, the following video was on Deadspin today, and when I saw it a Randy Newman song started running through my head: "Fat People Got No Reason to Live." The actual song is "Short People Got No Reason to Live." But I don't have anything against short people. Actually, I don't know whether it's more or less embarassing to say that I know a Randy Newman song or that I know a Randy Newman song because it was on an episode of "Ally McBeal." In my defense, this particular song was sung by my girl Jennifer Holliday, the original (and in my opinion, one-and-only) Effie from Dreamgirls, in an episode . I digress. Enjoy the fattie.

Also, I'm offended that there is a school that still sings along to "YMCA." I thought that was more of a WNBA thing. I am also not shocked that said school is in the great state of Wesvirginya.


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