HEISGIRL: Fodder From a Female Football Fan

Living every week like it's Shark Week.

Saturday, January 06, 2007


Why, Whole Foods, do you not put out snacks on the weekend anymore? My Saturday/Sunday routine used to involve grazing through your cheeses and fruits on my way home from the gym. For like the last four months I'm forced to look like a homeless person as I make a lap around only to find there aint nothing to eat. Bad form. Austin would be ashamed.

Why, Bravo, are you showing "Waterworld" tonite? I realize it's a Saturday nite, and I should be "out" but I still feel like shit. And I want to watch one of your many quality programs, and instead you're showing me one of Kevin Costner's worst movies? And since all Kevin Costner movies are shitty, being the shit of the shit is a fate worse than having a girl claim a guy got her pregnant even though he's never slept with her (ahem).

Why, Giant, are you even bothering to sell avocados? I'm all amped up to use my new Cuisinart to make some f-ing guac, and the best ones I can find are still like rubber balls. You can mess with me when it comes to a lot of things, but DO NOT MESS WITH ME AND MY TEX MEX.

Why did I forget what a good movie "Go" is? I feel bad now complaining about the whole "Waterworld" situation.


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