HEISGIRL: Fodder From a Female Football Fan

Living every week like it's Shark Week.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Today I feel like...

...getting drunk. Oh wait, that's everyday. I may have a drinking problem...and by problem, I mean that others say the have issues with me being less fun when sober.

You know it's going to be a lazy day when it's 5:30 and you're still wearing the shirt you slept in last nite...the shirt that is now coffee-stained from the only time you ventured outside the apt all day. I've been watching the playoffs, and during the Chicago game I realized that the smell I had been curious about was me. I told myself I'd shower when the game was over, but then they went to overtime, and then I only had a few minutes to shower before my boy DT started playing. My life is difficult (and no, my card is not American Express).

I'm slightly exaggerating my laziness today. I have said in the past that I have inertia problems. For instance, every time I sit down to watch TV I want to get up and fix the stack of DVDs in the entertainment cabinet. But I can never seem to care enough to get up and do it. Well today I went to town...started there and then cleaned out our desk, and then moved on to my room. When Roomie first moved here she was going to receptions and parties all the time and coming home with random bags of crap...like an Exxon tape measure, an Altria portable fan, a CitiBank inflatable neck pillow. And for whatever reason, we've kept that crap for almost three years. Now it's all gone, and I'm sure that in the next week I'll find myself wishing we had a retractable phone cord. DAMMIT KARMA!!

While cleaning I also found my digital camera, which means I can finally post on craigslist the stupid ipod case I bought online that I dont want (the first of two cases I bought but didnt like). As I'm so sure you know, Santa granted my one and only wish and brought me my new video ipod. The thing is so bling. SO BLING. Look at how rocks and sticks my old one looks in comparison:

Because I assign feelings to pretty much every inanimate object I own, I like to think that whitey has been wondering why the f he hasn't been touched in more than three weeks. Pooooor whitey...it's like reverse racism. We're for sure headed to couples therapy soon (it's not you, it's me). I haven't quite decided what to do with the old one. Despite being a generation 2, it still works like a dream. Roomie has a generation 3 which is obviously newer than mine, and she's had way way more problems with hers than I've ever had with mine (Chuuuump!). Some people have said "oh it'll be nice to have a back-up." But in what kind of scenario would I really need a back up? Like if my prom date cancels? If I sold it I can't see people paying more than like $50-60 for it since it's so old, and that just seems like the wrong thing to do to an old friend.

To show the kind of attachment I get to these things, while cleaning I also found my old cel phone which was damaged in the great Gold Cup debacle of 2005. Really, why have I kept this thing for almost two years? It is quite obviously beyond help:

You'll also recall that last week I attempted to make guac in my new Cuisinart, and the rock hard craptacular avocados from Giant made me look like a damn fool. Yesterday, Roomie dropped into the Latino Market in Clarendon (she would) and found some perfectly squishy avocados so that I could try again. SUCCESS!

I make some damn good guacamole. I'll come straight out with it...I'm like the Vince Young of guacamole making. CMart's ex-girfriend used to talk about how great her guac was, and I watched her make it once...she used an f-ing packet of mix. That aint right. That just AINT right. I realized as I was making it that I'm not altogether sure what else I can use the Cuisinart for (I should have asked for the Magic Bullet. That sounded dirty didnt it?), so I should probably just rename my Cuisinart my GuacMachine.

Two paragraphs on making guacamole? Damn. This is a boring day.


At 6:06 PM , Anonymous Sally said...

You're lazy? Ha. I haven't moved from my couch ALL DAY.


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