HEISGIRL: Fodder From a Female Football Fan

Living every week like it's Shark Week.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The Suck of the Union*

I could give two sh*ts about Bush's speech tonite. Seriously...why do I need to waste 40 minutes of my life when I can read the pertinent information in about five minutes tomorrow? ANSWER ME THAT, AMERICA!

When I was a lowly DC intern, we congregated in room 610 (raise up!) to watch the SOTU and drink and be merry. I did it because it seemed like the DC thing to do. Well, let me tell you friends...something being the "DC thing to do" usually makes it pretty lame.

People in this city just LOOOOOVE to get together and watch political moments like this one. I'm talking debates, speeches, funerals. You move here, and it seems like it would be fun. I usually support any excuse to get your drink on, but sit back and actually think what playing a State of the Union drinking game really means. It means sitting quietly and listening to a 40-minute-long speech (most of which has already been leaked) and then yelling "OOOOH! HE SAID TERRORIST!!" when our idiot president says something stupid. Oh my God! You know what would be less fun? Waxing your mustache!

Other D.C. things that sound fun but really aren't: Playing frisbee on the Mall (unless you don't have a problem beaning tourists...which I don't), going to Adams Morgan, taking the metro everywhere, and pooping. Just kidding! Pooping is always fun!

*Title provided by Sally who did apparently watch the speech anyway. Suckah


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