HEISGIRL: Fodder From a Female Football Fan

Living every week like it's Shark Week.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006


(Before I go any further, to find the above picture I did a google search for "drunk Santa" and I found seeeeeveral pages with this image. Disturbing. And now hopefully it will disturb your dreams too.)

Aaaaaaanyhoot, tonite I once again talked myself out of going to finish my Christmas shopping. Feeling bad about that on the way home I started to think about what I was going to get certain people, which led me to think about what I wish I could give other people. That list was really easy:

FTP: A "doctor" (that's almost too easy)
Yatesie: A baby of her own so she'll quit bugging her sister
The Bear: A REAL mean streak and a bad attitude
Sally: A package of four get-out-of-jail free cards so she could slit some people's throats
Super Fan: A defibrillator for when he either gives himself a heart attack from cheering or smoking a pack an hour
Roomie: The ability to put me on mute when I either start telling one of my famous too-long-and-too-many-details stories or when I attempt to dispense relationship/boy advice
Heathpie: My actual attendance at one of her parties
My sister: Jenny Craig (I realize that's mean, but she doesn't read this, and she's gained the Junior Year 40)
Brett: FTP's bed
Despair: A cure for all STD's
Pants: A nice sandwich d'knuckles
FB: Some friggin' dignity (that or or a clue)
Sooner boy: A swift kick to the testes
Dave & Mealz: Alamo Bowl tix so they would hate me less
Sassypants: a fiance (oh wait, I'm a month or so late for that)
KC & Timmy: A house that doesn't smell like the deuce
Merril Hoge: a nice graveyard plot
David Thomas: a divorce
PB: This

Additions to come later. Suggestions for me should go in the comments.


At 7:36 PM , Anonymous PB @ BON said...

Face paint?!

Okay, that's a damn fine jersey. I want one.

At 2:32 AM , Anonymous FTP said...

A disclaimer: FTP was no where near her OWN BED when Brett hijacked it for his own inappropriate purposes. . .

FTP only walked into later to see the disarray. Wow. Still makes me want to vommit just like it did two years ago. Gross.

At 1:16 PM , Anonymous Brett said...

Ha. So if Steez gives you a doctor but I have your bed whatever shall you do FTP?

At 1:21 PM , Blogger Steezy said...

I don't want to speak for her, but I'm pretty sure she can make do without. Actually, I'm VERY sure.

At 2:33 PM , Anonymous Brett said...

Wow. Now its my turn to have a bit too much information.


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