HEISGIRL: Fodder From a Female Football Fan

Living every week like it's Shark Week.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

F*** FLORIDA!!!

Nov. 2000: Hanging and pregnant chads in Florida leave the presidential
election in suspense for more than a month. The Supreme Court finally
declares Bush the winner. Two years later he starts a war in Iraq (that is
"Mission Accomplished" only a few months later) and that war wages today (at
least I think it does...)

Nov. 2002: Krazy Katherine Harris is elected to Congress. She later runs an
awesome trainwreck of a Senate campaign during which time she is pictured
with panthers, old people, and declares that "all of my life I have stopped
for turtles."

Jan. 2006: A (sober Steezy) trip to Buffalo Billiards to watch Texas/OU
bball gets ugly when "Pants" decides to attempt to break a record for most
words spoken in two hours. The evening becomes the moment when a
sometimes-fun acquaintance becomes a sworn enemy, and the state of Florida
officially becomes known in my mind as Whore-ida.

Dec. 2006: John Brantley changes his commitment from Texas to Florida. It's
almost too perfect as he'll take Adrian Peterson's place on my list of
traitors and people to wish ill will toward.

Brantley decided he wanted to stay close to home. What a f*cking crybaby.
Oh mommy, mommy...I can't go without seeing you every week and eating your
lima beans. In my mind though, this can't help but be linked to the disaster
that was the end of our season. Last nite after reading the official word
from the turd, I just got so depressed (thank God our bball team pulled out
a W or I would have slit my wrists). I started to think we were at the
beginning of a slide into another dark era of Texas football. I realize I'm
being dramatic, but I think now more than EVER it's imperative that we beat
Iowa in the Alamobowl. I don't think I could take the ridicule if we didnt.

Until then...Brantley can go suck an egg.

4 Comments:

At 4:47 PM , Anonymous Sally said...

or his mama's breast milk, because he is WHINY WIDDLE TITTY BABY

 
At 7:25 PM , Anonymous Brett said...

""Pants" decides to attempt to break a record for most
words spoken in two hours." - Ha Ha Ha. funny cuz its true!

 
At 11:41 PM , Blogger Steezy said...

Do remember when that band the Titty Babies put their stickers in the Daily Texan for like a month straight? I tried to google them but got some xxx results (+ a picture of John Brantley)

 
At 12:52 AM , Blogger Dave said...

You do know who the Titty Babies are, right?

www.myspace.com/tittybabies

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home