HEISGIRL: Fodder From a Female Football Fan

Living every week like it's Shark Week.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

It just feels. So. Good.

Do you remember when we beat OU? Oh my God it was awesome.

I was a little worried yesterday because I felt so confident. But turns out my confidence was justified, because we looked very solid. We may not have put up huge numbers, but our defense was spectacular, (AARON MUTHAF*CKING ROSS!!!) and Colt was like the manager at a busy McDonalds...efficient and impressive. I think I've mentioned this once or twice, but winning is pretty much my favorite thing in the world. I just love it so goshdanged much.

It was your typical Rhodeside afternoon, with a few exceptions. They replaced my usual three bar tables with these gigantic bar height tables that allowed for plenty of room for everyone's fair foods and pitchers. At one point there five half-full pitchers on my side of the table alone. It was like Christmas morning. They were also serving a special "fair food" menu, including corn dogs, frito pies, pulled pork, fried twinkies, etc. I got a couple corndogs (damn good ones, mind you) before the game started. Dre had joked to one of my friends that they were sold out, and I almost slit his throat. At 3 p.m., 30 minutes before the game started, he came around and said that they really had sold out of c-doggs. We started to give the owner a hard time and he responded that he had bought so many that he was convinced they'd have left over c-doggs for weeks. As such, they're ordering more, and will have them at every game for the rest of the season.

OU brings out the biggest crowd of course (with the exception of Ohio State, though I've been at that game both years so can't compare), and it's not only Texas fans...it's friends of Texas fans who are there to have fun. Well, it's not about having fun. It's about winning. Sally and I almost got into our second knife fight in the last year with three girls who were friends-of-friends, who sat in front of the tv the whole time and just talked to each other. The longer their second grade teachers meeting went on, and subsequently the more pitchers we consumed, the more we yelled at them (from two feet away) that they sucked. Seriously people. Everyone knows that I ALWAYS get guest list approval, and bitches are not invited to sit at the head table without my yes (it really is my table...someone came over and said he didnt think anyone would dare to sit there for fear of their life and/or knife fight).

Post-game, we ate at Taco Bell, probably the worst mistake I've ever made, and then went to Mister Days (aka Meesta Meesta). The Bear walks over with two buckets of Miller Lite, but they were 7 oz ML's. THey looked like mustard bottles. I was so offended (not really) I went home and crizashed. Thankfully everyone I'd told we'd meet out also crizashed. Winning can really take it out of you. I woke up at 5:30 with a killer headache and decided the only cure (besides more cowbell...actually, at this point, less cowbell) was to watch highlights of the game on sportscenter, after which I fell back asleep hugging my pillow because it felt like victory.

Roomie and I just got back from 7-11 to get coffee (we are high class hos) and the headline of the World News Report was "Aliens take up residence at trailer park" with the sub-header "there goes the neighborhood." The story in the corner of the page: "Meet OMAHA Bin Laden." They deserved my money for that kind of creativity alone. I got to thinking though...did so many Sooners get sad about losing that they abandoned their trailers allowing aliens to take over? And will those aliens be better at football? Maybe if they were, we'd actually recruit players from that state, because though OU has a roster stacked with traitors, we have none. Further evidence that Boob Stoops is lucifer (my impression of Boob complaining to the refs: What!? What!? Point, Point.)

So, to summarize: winning feels good. OU Sucks. Aaron Ross is the sh*t. Steezer likes beer


At 1:46 PM , Anonymous Sally said...

Yeah man I really wanted to cut some bitches. Next time, next time.

At 2:48 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does the Bear gotta choke a bitch?!

At 11:09 AM , Anonymous PB said...

Ha! I used to watch games at Rhodeside until I moved back to Austin. Fun times.

Also, it's 11:02 a.m. and OU Still Sucks.



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