HEISGIRL: Fodder From a Female Football Fan

Living every week like it's Shark Week.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Come on baby...

The great fires of Columbus, OH are old news now, but still, they've had me thinking: why would anyone burn a perfectly good sofa? Until I bought my new tv, my sofa was my most prized possession. It's not particularly comfy or pretty to look at; but it fits me like a glove, and on any given Mon/Tues/Wed/Thurs/Fri/Sat nite, Roomie knew she could come home and find me drunk and asleep on it. The only house rule we have: no sex on the couch.

Having said all that, I can (sort of) understand why something would make you so very happy that you'd want to run into the streets and start burning. Something like that will probably never happen here in D.C., where our sports teams are usually about as successful as I am with the menfolk (sure, once in awhile the Wizards make the playoffs, but usually they're eliminated before anyone gets off...so to speak). But should the masses ever start marching our direction, here are some things I'd rather see burned:

-the entire state of Oklahoma
-Jai from "Queer Eye"
-Aaron Harris
-American Idol
-Brady Quinn
-my current job
-guys wearing shirts with stretched out collars
-cover letters
-Reggie Bush
-the movie Titanic
-Texas basketball's black jerseys
-the entire state of Oklahoma (yes, I realize I've written that twice)
-the first-ever episode of "Sex and the City"
-people who call the above "Sex in the City"
-Jeffrey from "Project Runway"
-Sushi Go-Round
-Nancy & Despair
-being sober
-your face

Over the course of writing this, Roomie's blackberry buzzed informing her (and me) that former Texas governor Ann Richards has died. I loved Ann Richards. I loved Ann Richards before I knew anything about anyone, especially feminism and politics. But I somehow still knew and could tell that Ann was the shit, and subsequently, she never apologized for being tough as shit. When I found out she opened the NYC office of Public Strategies, I wanted nothing more than to work there with and for her. I only met her once; just a handshake. But she left a major handprint on my life and who I've become. It's a sad day.

Anyways, sometimes a girl's gotta get a little serious. Fart and poop jokes are in your future, I promise.


At 9:38 AM , Anonymous Sally said...

LOVE the plug for "stretched-out collars"


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