HEISGIRL: Fodder From a Female Football Fan

Living every week like it's Shark Week.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

The best damn fans in prison

My friend Parker put an article on my door at work about a new sportsmanship program (called "The Best Damn Fans in the Land") they're implementing at Ohio State. To me the real news is that they haven't done this already, since pretty much everyone I've ever talked to has agreed that the Bucknuts are the worst f-ing fans on the planet. Any group of fans that can drive a perfectly normal star running back to hatchet carrying insanity should just be rounded up and shot, in my opinion. But I digress.

This morning I faced my Saturday morning questions head-on, and went and got a bagel and coffee at the good place. At some point last week I did something to the side of my left knee. Everytime I walk up or down stairs it hurts. This has severely limited my gym attendance, which pisses me off big time. I came back from Austin gung-ho to get back in my routine and lose soome of the refried bean weight I put on by going to Texas twice within five weeks. Instead I'm forced to pedal slowly on the bike while examining the fat cells on my legs. But I digress.

What I'm really doing by typing this right now is avoiding re-writing a cover letter. I hate cover letters. I wish I could actually say that in a cover letter...which I probbaly could because no one ever READS cover letters. Every HR person I've ever talked to has said as much, which only confounds me as to why I still have to write a bunch of bullcorn about my skillz. My skillz are in making you laugh and think I'm kidding while I talk about how awesome I am. Someone yesterday asked me what my career trajectory was and I responded that I planned to continue being really smart and really cute. They laughed. I did too. But only because they totally thought I was kidding. Idiots. But I digress.

Hook 'em...I feel like we've got a good chance to win today if only because their quarterback is really ugly. Never trust an ugly qb.


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